April 7, 2010

Bringing Up April

Raising a Daughter in the World, but Not of the World

Yesterday, she made me cry. My baby girl, the lovely girl who wants to follow God's leading... she made me cry. I didn't know these emotions were in me, but they came out - helplessness, followed by exasperation, and ending with crossness. What cruel joke did she play on my poor mother's heart? This heart that's been dreading the loss of its only daughter to the world of grown ups and college classes.

January 9, 2010

The Mom I Grew Up With

My Mom died.
It's been five years now. She lived 81 years, and her last 4 were spent mostly as a shut in. I still want her back, but...

I miss the Mom I grew up with
, the Mom who was always there for me when I came home from school, or back from a date, or home from church. She prayed for me daily, preached God's love and Jesus' forgiveness, sang Amazing Grace through the house, and read her Bible every day. . . but she didn't go to church services. I can count on my hands the times I remember her going to church with me. Mostly these were special occasions, a Christmas Eve service here or there, or a special musical I was performing in. Mostly these were special because she was there, and I knew she needed to be there, in church.

She did go to her prayer meetings
and take me along, but I was very young, not even school age. My vague memories include seeing friendly folks laying hands on one another, praying for each other and saying things which I didn't understand. My Mom said they were speaking in tongues, that it was a special language from heaven that God had given them. Honestly, as a small child it scared me to hear them talking this way, but Mom was always there to comfort me and I knew she wouldn't let anything bad happen to me.
May be it was after one of these prayer meetings that she told me about Jesus, and how he died on the cross for me, because he loved me so much and didn't want me to die and go to hell. I was so young, but I remember the feelings, the sadness in my heart because Jesus was beaten and then died on the cross. It was with complete simplicity, and innocence, that I cried in my bed and asked Jesus to forgive my sins. I was so sorry for my sins... I did not come to Jesus like a child, I came to him as a child.
My Mom died. This past July. She lived 81 years and her last 4 were spent mostly as a shut in. I still want her back, but...

January 6, 2010

Flattery With Her Eyelids

Reading Proverbs six today,
I am struck with the importance of keeping my son pure and safe from the lusts of this world.

Beware the flattery of the tongue from a strange woman. She hunts for the precious life, your precious young life. She allures with her beauty and her eyes.

My son, I know you see her everyday... on the streets, on the side of buses, on the billboards, at the mall, in magazines and books, on the television and in the commercials, at the library, even at home on the computer. Don't be fooled! Be strong!

My son, listen and obey your father and mother. Keep your father's commandments and don't forsake the law of your mother. Keep these things close in your heart, ever thoughtful on them, and they'll lead and guide you when you sleep, and when you wake. His laws are a light, a lamp, showing the way.